July 2023
7/28/2023
what ive been listening to
Talk about a busy couple of weeks... 
But the worst of it is pretty much over! The new place is great, I think we're both feeling a lot more comfortable and Willow (our cat) seems to really appreciate the extra space. We have a balcony now, and it has been so nice to have a place where we can eat dinner or relax outside but still have a bit of privacy. Its a lot easier being in a designated space for us than just, hanging around in a park I guess. And it's right there! 
Aubrey let me pick out all of the new furniture and set everything up just how I wanted. Even down to the pictures and stuff. They seem really happy as well, but it was sick being able to build a space that maximizes my comfort. :) I've had some big work stuff going on, and just some bad general anxiety as well - but I'm feeling a lot more like myself and am trying to get myself back up to speed here. It's really rad to have a space I can step away from when I need it, and come back to as I want. I want to revamp my home page a bit to add some more personality, and then learn iframes to set up my recipes and hoard pages. It's a lot of stuff, but I'm going to pace myself and see how it goes! I'm really looking forward to it. 
We have a lot of fun stuff coming up. It'll take up some time, but in a good way. I don't usually have too many plans with friends or anything like that, and I can get really anxious but I'm feeling good. We're going to the beach/an amusement park with some friends in early August, and then Aubrey and I are getting married on the 17th!! We've had everything ready to go for awhile, but decided a little bit ago it was best to go ahead and get it done legally. We picked out a super cute suit for them that I'm super excited to see, and I got to get some nice stuff for my own outfit as well. 
I don't really talk about them too much, but they are my rock and have absolutely kept me going for 4+ years now. I really wouldn't be who I am without them, they are the most understanding and empathetic person I've ever met and I feel so very lucky. Anyways, not to get too mushy haha. Work is busy but good, we've been doing really well so I haven't been too stressed. I feel like I have a better handle on those things, even with my anxiety and mild delusions spiking a bit.
I still don't feel particularly "attached" to the world at the moment, but at least it seems like whatever I'm doing is helping me feel a bit happier. I'm really lucky to have a job I can do from home, and I feel that more than ever when I get a bit spacey. My boss trusts me and there isn't too much to worry about when it comes to getting a bad performance review or anything. It's nice to feel a bit more "neutral" I guess, idk. Either way I'm doing good and feeling good about where things are headed! 
Willow!!!
7/10/2023
what ive been listening to
I wanted to check in and give a lil' update about everything! We've been packing like crazy, but luckily we've gotten most of it out of the way and can start moving this Friday/Saturday!! We're very excited to move into the new place. These next couple of months will be soooo busy with travel aand moving and getting married and everything, but its all busy for a good reason. 
I do really miss working on things here, and I'm hoping I can start up again in earnest after this weekend :) There are so many things I wanna do...other than just building out the rest of my pages, its been really therapeutic to have something to work on all my own. And I feel like there are so many cool people I havent really had the chance to talk to yet^^
As part of packing we've had to put all of my stuffed animals into bags, and its starting to make me feel like I have an addiction lol. I'll post a picture below, but needless to say we have more thaan a few... You might have noticed, but my A key has also been funky lately, so its either double entering or not entering more than it should ;;. I know this was brief, just wanted a second to let you all know I was still alive and planning things for the future!
Most of all, I wanna do some updates to my home page and earn iframes to get my hoard up and running...Shrines I wanna take my time with, and in general I dont wnna pressure myself, but theres so much progress other people are making and im feeling like I'll get left behind!
I dont have a problem...
7/4/2023
what ive been listening to
Had such a good day today. I know it isn't even really all that close to over, but I wanted to recognize it while I was still feeling happy. I got to sleep in thanks to Aubs being willing to take care of the cat, and then got to spend a couple of hours on chores/sorting out the About Me page thats been bothering me awhile.
We aren't really doing anything for the fourth, but we both have the day off and its been really nice getting some extra time to hang out. We made cinnamon rolls and read together some this morning, and took a walk to the cornerstore but not much else.^^ We're playing games and watching survivor with some friends, but I'm hoping we'll read outside later today - the weather is finally perfect. I don't much care for fireworks, so better sooner than later to get anything outside over with.
Things will be pretty busy the next few weeks, but its been nice to get a break. I was feeling pretty down on myself a couple of days ago, but its definitely helped! Loving the progress I'm making both here and IRL.
The Mushrooms Are Growing!
7/2/2023
what ive been listening to
I wanna start by saying I'm not exactly sold on this page layout, so expect it to change^^ I'll also be updating my About Me and stuff like that as I go, and I'm proud of what I've been able to pick up so far, but I think this is one area I'll revisit once I have a better grasp of flex boxes, grids, iframes, etc...for now, I just want a space to share some thoughts.
We went to see Asteroid City today. Aubrey loves Wes Anderson, and we go to movies pretty often as a way of getting out of the house together. It probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but I’ve felt pretty detached from reality the last few weeks, and it’s a great way to actually get me outside – even if its just to another indoor space. Outside of going to the gym I can be something of a homebody…anyways, the movie was great! Very meta…a bit of a mundane fever dream, where what was happening around them was world-changing, but they treated it like a fairly normal part of their existence. Wes Anderson always makes communication pretty direct, which is nice^^ I always appreciate extra context. We smoked in the parking lot before the movie, and it was one of the few times I’ve been nostalgic for the past. Something about the slate-gray slab of a sky and the stickiness of the heat and humidity reminded me of home. It’s nice to have experiences that reshape how I feel about little things like the weather.
The drive home was relaxing. The roads have emptied because everyone’s leaving town for the 4th, so we didn’t have to deal with nearly as much noise or traffic as usual. I love driving, its always been a way for me to escape and relax, but I think the emptiness of everything kind of drew me further into feeling like I don’t exist…something about the sky, distant thunder, and the way the wind was blowing my hair into my face. Idk. It was still nice, just like I was a part of a scene rather than a willing participant. But it wasn’t a bad feeling^^
We’re going to be playing games with friends later, but more than anything I hope the thunderstorms make it over this way. Our parking area has a tin roof, and it always sounds so wonderful when there’s heavy rain. I love sitting out there and watching the raindrops. It always relaxes me. The thunderstorms are one of the best parts of Michigan, and we didn’t really have them up in Portland so its been nice to be able to experience them again. Im taking the 3rd and 4th off from work for some much needed rest, and I’m planning on being as unproductive as possible. I’ve needed the rest, manga has been super fun to get back into so if I’m reading that and tinkering here It’ll be a very successful use of PTO^^. Aubs will still be working, so it’ll just be me and our baby cat Willow.
I don’t mean to ramble too much, just want to start populating this page a bit so I can tweak what I want to do with navigating to content and layout and stuff. Its been so nice getting more comfy with Neocities, and seeing how nice people are here. I think you get to learn a lot about people through the way they design their pages. Looking forward to a nice Sunday night
Here I Am Before The Movie!